My second attempt at poetry. Please let me know what you think.
Mighty was her reel of fame,
The noble ladies flexed in shame.
Men could only long to claim,
Was she wild a lioness tame.
When he tried his luck at fate,
Far she fled with hurting slate.
He did urge to opt her mate,
As she rooted deep in crate.
All though he did turned out quip,
Tougher grew his lusty gripe.
No more could she take him snip,
The best she could she tried to slip.
On that murky winter night,
She went yielding light and bright.
When they merged as one and tight,
They left no more time to blight.
Gaping was their land of ayre,
As though things were all that fair.
That means not that they can pair,
But she made it smart and spare.
Lovely was her despair moan,
Every time he pushed the horn.
They kept riding hard and lone,
As though they had no more home.
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Picture courtesy: http://picfor.me/en/viewimg/1122671/tag/635/user/52275
More than anything, I loved the rhyming of the poem... Good job!
ReplyDeleteThank you Nisha.
Deleteooo Now in romance platform ?
ReplyDeletehehe :)
Dee..
:)
DeleteCertainly Nerve Titillating this rhyming set of feelings of yours !!
ReplyDeleteGreat read with a complimentary snap too. :)
Thank you Amit. Glad you like it. I found that snap on the net.
DeleteLoved the poem.....
ReplyDelete:) thank you.
DeleteIf you don't mind me asking, Is this fiction or inspired by a real life event? :D
ReplyDeleteThank you Ana.
DeleteWell, its inspired by a real life event, when I first got to drive a BMW 7 series sedan in my life (it's all about the car and not the lady) :P. And one day I wish to own it myself too. :)
Ah, that was some play of words...Lovely...:)
ReplyDeleteThank you Saru. Glad you like it.
Deleteseriously man, that was some amazing stuff...read something like that after a long time...loved it... :)
ReplyDeleteAaah, neat stuff LeoPaw.. n the pic completes the poem in the mind.. :)
ReplyDeleteCool one, Leo :)
You have done a great job and men will not understand what you really meant to convey through the poem after seeing that picture... LOL
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing how the poem reads equally meaningfully for love for a woman and for a car? Nicely written. And thanks for your +1.
ReplyDeletewow.. now that does sound romantic.. and the picture i guess says it all :)
ReplyDeleteos now tell us is it the car or the lady you interested in more he he he he :)
Bikram's
as Saru said .. that was some play of words...
ReplyDeletei liked the rhyme...very romantic poem !
Nice poem1 An enjoyable read!
ReplyDeleteThats a wonderfully written poem about a car, i've never seen someone describing a car so beautifully as you did here. You did a complete justice to the making of the care you yearned for. Enjoyed going through each line of yours, praising it with the gender of a woman:)
ReplyDeleteAwesome rhyme, and a nice poem. :)
ReplyDeletethe picture gave me a different impression :)excellent rhyme,great piece of work.
ReplyDeletewas it the pic which was misleading or is it your claim that u wrote it for the sedan,which misleads ???
ReplyDeletenice rythm loved it
ReplyDeleteooh brashly rooomantic....nice lines ...:) :P
ReplyDeletedo read my poem THE ANTHEM :
http://campbuzzz.blogspot.com/2012/01/anthem.html
:D That was some heated romance there :)
ReplyDeleteI was a bit overwhelmed with the photograph though :)
~ Chintan
contrived flow. Try making it more natural. By the way, you must be knowing prosody isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI am not very much a poetry person but this one had me interested..! Lots of rhyming for instance. Very metaphoric and symbolic words..She.. why?
ReplyDelete@CYNOSURE: Thank you and welcome here.
ReplyDelete@R-A-J: thank you raj. glad you like it.
ReplyDelete@Farila: LOL. ya, I was lucky enough to find a apt misleading pic on the net. thank you Farila.
ReplyDelete@Bikramjit: Hey, you got it right man. car or the lady? That's for you to chose.
ReplyDeleteIf you ask me, I will have tough time to chose. specially if its is a deadly duo as in the pic.
@rahul aggarwal~ Thank you Rahul. Glad you like it.
ReplyDelete@Rahul Bhatia~ Thank you Rahul for those kind words.
ReplyDelete@Elvirah~ :) they are the two that I admire most in life. So I just had to imagine that I was imagining about the other when I wrote about one.;) I hope I have confused you enough!
ReplyDeleteThank you Elvirah for that encouraging comment and. btw, nice name.
@abuginmymind~ Thank you. Glad you like it.
ReplyDelete@alka narula~ thank you alka. part of the credit goes to the owner of the pic. was fortunate to find an apt one like this on the net.
ReplyDelete@indu chhibber: nither. it's my craze for that sedan which equates to the love for a girl that misleads. :) . Thank you Indu.
ReplyDelete@Chirag Joshi~ thank you joshi. glad you like it.
ReplyDelete@saikat mbka ghosh~ thank you for those nice words. will surely check that out.
ReplyDelete@Chintan Gupta~ Romance is mine and the photo credits, I owe it the unknown owner on the net. Thank you chintan.
ReplyDelete@Amitaverse~ I'm an amateur in this platform-this being my second attempt. Will surely keep all your suggestions in mind when I write next time. Thank you Amit.
ReplyDelete@Meera~ thank you meera for those encouraging comments. Glad you like them. I recently got to drive my dream car and this post is all about that event.
ReplyDeleteHey Leo Paw, I have nominated you for the versatile blogger award. Hope you would like it. :)
ReplyDeletehttp://akkishaki.blogspot.com/2012/01/versatile-blogger-award.html
thank you akshay for the nomination. really humbled at the honor.
DeleteOMG! One word- BEAUTIFUL! :) SIMPLY AWESOME!Love the rhythm love everything!
ReplyDeleteIt's like,so crude yet so beautiful.Yes,thats that! :)
oooohh! nice romance! i like. :)
ReplyDeleteahh..that was quite a ride! bold and beautiful :)
ReplyDeletewill be reading other post of urs definitely!
following u!
sarah
Hey! i got your comment on my mail, but somehow it isn't appearing on my blog. i wonder why!
ReplyDeleteTalking of the comment, it was really sweet of you to say that. Thankyou! :)
i'm following you. i'd love it if you follow me back, only if you want to that is :)
Excellent Poem Leo,
ReplyDeleteIt looks like you two are made for each other.
(I must admit that I have to read the poem again, after reading Farila's comment, to find out that poem is about the car, and not the girl sitting in it :))
Great write...great rhythm. i loved it. thank you for sharing
ReplyDelete