Top 10 things to do on a date that will ensure you a happy single life:
1. Dress odd, shabby and in-appropriate.
2. Reach at least 30 min late.
3. Become nervous. And then show it on your face. Let her realize you are insecure.
4. Storm her with boring questions, stories and talks that evokes least interest. May be you can consider repeating. Leave a big gap between conversation and appear to be thinking. Remember not to have any fun, flirt or be playful.
5. Keep repeating and drilling further over a joke that you picked up on a magazine recently (which you are sure she had also read).
6. Make sure you forget your ears at home before a date. Speak a lot about yourself and leave her with no option, but listen(only).
7. Make sure you stay vigil and identify few of her mistakes/foolishness and keep embarrassing her over it.
8. Try to do things out of the way and unnatural and let her realize you are struggling to impress her. Let her feel you are a “needy” creature.
9. Make sure you don’t look at her face (you may fix your gaze at anything else on her). But remember to keep complimenting her every 5 minutes.
10. When the menu arrives stop talking and start munching in one go until you finish. Don’t offer to share. Make as much sound as possible while you chew. A burp or two is desirable.
NB: Try it at your own risk. The author holds no responsibility in what soever loss incurred physical or mental on practical application of these tips. In simple words - step back and stay an arm distance away or more from her when you try #7 and #9.
Top 10 danger (sometimes really dangerous) signs that you are not doing well:
1. She takes up the upper hand and fills the gap in the conversation.
2. Listens to everything you say without getting bored.
3. Laughs at “your” jokes.
4. Touches you more.
5. Lean in or grind up against you.
6. Get jealous when you talk to other girls.
7. Compliments you for almost everything you say or do.
8. Asks you to walk her home.
9. Asks for a second date.
10. Gives you her phone number without even asking.