Urns



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The yarn of a blest

Deep in the chest, holds our mourn

For the Ash of gone.
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This is my first ever try at poetry. So please leave your comments and suggestions to improve. 
This post is linked to the HAIKU HEIGHTS weekly haiku prompts. Hope this follows Haiku, or Senryu norms. 
Photo courtesy: Discarded clay urns, Bhag Nari,... by Ameer Hamza (flickr.com) via Goole Image Search.
P.S: Read on Burial urns. 


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45 comments:

  1. Magical Mystical TeacherNovember 24, 2011 at 4:41 AM

    There's something faintly reminiscent of the work of e e cummings in this piece. Enigmatic!


    My Take on the Prompt

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  2. Sunil DeepakNovember 24, 2011 at 11:20 AM

    I am not sure about the meaning of the the poem (always had problems with difficult words) but sounds like a warning that one day everything finishes!

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  3. Chapters From My LifeNovember 24, 2011 at 12:16 PM

    Very nice...

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  4. NishaNovember 24, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    Short and crisp! Had to look up the meaning of Blest... Learned a new word. Thanks!

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  5. Sujatha SathyaNovember 24, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    haikus are very difficult is what i've heard

    i couldn't get the poem's meaning but that's just me :)

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  6. AnonymousNovember 26, 2011 at 12:08 AM

    that picture is very inspiring, can see why you picked it

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  7. Gargi GuptaNovember 27, 2011 at 2:35 PM

    The poem says a lot! So true...a nice attempt on poetry, I guess you should write poem more often :)

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  8. alka narulaNovember 27, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    i got what you are trying to say and thats what matters in poetry that you shoul be able to convey your message to the reader....good attempt..keep it up..

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  9. LeoPawNovember 27, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    @Magical Mystical Teacher~ Did you mention Edward Estlin Cummings? I'm already in cloud 9. thank you.

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  10. LeoPawNovember 27, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    @sunil deepak~ thank you. I've added a post script lately. Please consider reading the poem once more.

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  11. LeoPawNovember 27, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    @Farila~ thank you.

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  12. LeoPawNovember 27, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    @Nisha~ Thank you. It was 'blessed' when I wrote first then thought "blest" would be a better alternative.

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  13. LeoPawNovember 27, 2011 at 8:44 PM

    @Sujatha Sathya~ Thank you. I've added a post script lately. Please consider reading the poem once more.

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  14. LeoPawNovember 27, 2011 at 8:46 PM

    @zongrik~ thank you. I owe it to the owner of the picture. Ameer Hamza on flickr.com

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  15. LeoPawNovember 27, 2011 at 8:47 PM

    @Gargi Gupta~ Thank you. That was really inspiring.

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  16. LeoPawNovember 27, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    @alka narula~ thank you for the inspiring words. will surely keep your advise in mind every time I attempt poetry.

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  17. Saru SinghalNovember 27, 2011 at 10:05 PM

    Only suggestion, please continue writing poems. You wrote this Haiku with a lot of depth. Not only the words even the picture is excellent which makes the entire post a delightful experience for your readers.

    I have read two more Haikus on the same subject last week. So, I can say I really admire your treatment...

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  18. Spiritual SherpaNovember 27, 2011 at 10:14 PM

    Am not at all a poet yaa...but the one suggestion i can offer is expand your thoughts.. stretch them to the point where they appear alien..this is a very good start...heres wishing you all the best :) happy journey...

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  19. MalinyNovember 28, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    very nice attempt...u have fallen for a very enticing enlightening form of art...have a mesmerising journey :)

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  20. AnonymousNovember 28, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    3 line wonder!! first poem jargon broken, no blunder!
    wow leo.!!! you have it!!! :)

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  21. AnonymousNovember 28, 2011 at 6:56 PM

    and the theme goes right to the heart. :)

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  22. R-A-JNovember 28, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    Hey Leo, loved the way u managed to evoke a variety of emotions with just so few words.. I'd say tht in itself is brilliant, considerin its ur first attempt at poetry.. very, very deep man...:)

    ur first poem RoaRs, LeoPaw!! :)

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  23. UnknownNovember 29, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    God attempt, the picture speaks a thousand words.

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  24. Neeraj KumarNovember 29, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    Wonderful poetry that described a part of life so well.

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  25. LeoPawNovember 29, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    @Saru Singhal~ Will surely continue to explore more. Those words mean a lot to me especially when it comes from a proficient poet and a connoisseur like you. And that really makes my day!! Thank you so much.

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  26. LeoPawNovember 29, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    @India's no.1 blog : Thank you and will surely keep that in mind.

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  27. LeoPawNovember 29, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    @maliny: thank you and welcome here.
    Simply true. a very enticing enlightening form of art. will surely try exploring more.

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  28. LeoPawNovember 29, 2011 at 12:43 PM

    @magiceye ~ thank you.

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  29. LeoPawNovember 29, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    @blackandwhiteheart~ Thank you. That was really encouraging. Glad you liked it.

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  30. LeoPawNovember 29, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    @R-A-J~ Thank you Raj. Happy that you liked it. The truth is, I simply wrote down what came to my mind. It was only after completion, I started thinking about the meaning and depth. :)

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  31. LeoPawNovember 29, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    @Vikram~ Thank you vikram. I owe it to the owner of the picture. Ameer Hamza on flickr.com.

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  32. LeoPawNovember 29, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    @Neeraj Kumar~ Thank you Neeraj. Glad you like it.

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  33. Akshay Kumar GNovember 29, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    That was deep. Very well expressed in very few words. :):)

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  34. UnknownNovember 29, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    So short! Yet so meaningful... Amazing... Keep em coming...

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  35. Aabha VatsaNovember 30, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    A gr8 debut!

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  36. Aakash @ Love poemsDecember 1, 2011 at 1:58 AM

    Short and Sweet, good work :)

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  37. Rahul BhatiaDecember 1, 2011 at 4:30 AM

    A great maiden attempt!

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  38. bemoneyawareDecember 1, 2011 at 10:42 AM

    Short but meaningful..
    Somehow second and third line came at same level so poem seemed out of symmetry.

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  39. LeoPawDecember 1, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    @AKSHAY KUMAR G~ Thank you Akshay. :)

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  40. LeoPawDecember 1, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    @NNNiiiXXX~ Thank you NNNiiiXXX. :)

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  41. LeoPawDecember 1, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    @Abha Midha~ Thank you Abha Midha. :)

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  42. LeoPawDecember 1, 2011 at 1:12 PM

    @Aakash @ Love poems: Aakash, so happy to get that comment from a wonderful poet like you. Thanks a lot.

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  43. LeoPawDecember 1, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    @Rahul Bhatia~ thank you Rahul. :)

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  44. LeoPawDecember 1, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    @bemoneyaware: Sure will keep that suggestion in mind in my next attempt. thanks a lot.

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  45. Jen..The Butterfly EffectMarch 2, 2012 at 2:17 PM

    he he good attempt! :) I'm your new follower :)

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