Sloth Bank Of India

It was 10.00 when I reached. The bank was just open and the transactions were about to be started. 

The machine with a dirty yellow button spat out TOKEN NO:55 on to my hand. I picked up the form to file a DD application and sat down on the waiting chair. It was nice to see all the 15 multipurpose counters open and getting ready to start serving.


“TING TING... 
token number 1- counter number 2, 
token number 2 -counter number 4, 
token number 3 counter number 6, 
token number 4 counter number 7, 
token number 5 counter number 9 .”

In short, out of the 15 counters assigned, only 5 will function. That is one third of the total number. Still, that doesn't matter much to me. 5 counters and if each takes 5 minutes, my turn will come in an 1 hour or so. I got back to filling the DD application form.


As I finished filling, it was 10.15 and number 8 that was the last called token. Now I had some 60 minutes to kill and decided to find out what the non-functioning counters were up to.

Token number 9-counter number 3
Token number 10--counter number 4
Token number 11-counter number 9

Counter number 1: A 120 something lady who is busy talking over her phone. Well, 120 in not her age but weight in Kg . Looks like she fell directly into that cubicle from above like a jello.  The fact is , she can't serve even if she wishes to. There is no space for anybody else in that cubicle.

Token number 12-counter number 6
Token number 13-counter number 3
Token number 14-counter number 7

Counter number 3: It read "Assist Accounts Manager". This is again a lady. She is relaxing happily on her semi reclined office chair exposing her well fed belly and breathing the fresh morning air. I doubt if she was on audition for B grade Bollywood.

Token number 15-Counter number 9
Token number 16 counter number 5

Counter number 5: This man is reclining on his chair and talking over the phone with his right hand scratching his groin. You could make out the pleasure on his face when he did that. I think he should meet me in my clinic for treatment before he handles any currencies.

Token number 17-counter number 6

Counter number 8: She must have cracked a dirty joke. This man sitting next to her is laughing his stomach out. Ok, here I see a 50 something uncle, sitting an chitchatting with a pretty unpretty aunty in her 40s. They can't be blamed. They needs to vent their feeling too.

Counter number 10: Somebody had been put to fast at home I think. This young man is busy eating his nails. Once when he is done with one nail, he carefully palpates the rest of the nails for the best next option. 

Token number 19 counter number 6

Counter number 11: This 40 something man is really upto something. He is busy reading the news paper. He has his one hands on the table and the other underneath. He seem to be shaking his leg vigorously or is he shivering? 


Counter number 12: That's a dump yard of files. If I go stand near that counter, I'm pretty sure, I will be shorter than that pile of files on the right which read, “PENDING VERIFICATION”. In an office like this with heavy work load, and everybody busy attending to the customers form morn to eve, with too much of under-staffing, I'm not surprised to see that pile. They are doing a good job!!

Token number 21 counter number 6

Counter number 13: This guy is busy counting. He picked up a bundle, counted it first, then the machine and then him again. Looks like he is expecting it to multiply each time they are counted.

Token number 22 counter number 6

Counter number 14: “SPECIAL COUNTER” handled by a special lady. She is busy calculating and noting it down. But what will a bank officer need to think so much and then write down on multiple squares on a newspaper. I don't know. But she is at least playing with numbers.

Token number 23 counter number 6

Counter number 15: She is busy working. Working her make up! With her bag wide open, she pulled out the lipstick, pushed back the foreskin cover and started rubbing it on to her lips with such passion that I felt she had her climax then and there.


I looked at my watch and it was already 11.30. Now that I 've killed one solid hour, I was sure my time is going to be arriving soon.


But no, Token number 24 counter nummber 6.


Oops, that meas all other counters other than 6 have closed. And not even half the token been called. What the bloody hell!!! Now what do I do? I badly want to leave. But things are nearing last date and they accept DD from this bank alone. I think I'll wait. After all, it's Sloth Bank of India.


image courtesy: http://www.prwatch.org/

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57 comments:

  1. haha this reminds me of a show called office office....infact i hd sent my manager to j and k bank a coupla days back to deposit some money and it took him around 2hours to do so..i can totally relate to the post..
    i wanted to ask if u have changed your font as it is somehow a bit discomforting to the eye maybe cos of the font size:(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you alka.
      I think its with the default font. Changed it and hope its alright now.

      Delete
  2. haha!! I can empathize with your situation. :(

    And btw loved the puns, especially at Counter Numbers 11 and 15. :D

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    Replies
    1. @ Akshay ~ :) . Thank you akshay. Glad you like it. puns in them were the manifestations of my frustration.

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  3. Lovely Narration. Loved the way you took us through those minutes you had to wait :-)
    And this is the State of a Bank, in India. Sigh!

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  4. Oh my! I'd be surprised if you weren't frustrated. Good subject for a post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ D.Nambiar ~ I had a tough time there. Thank you.

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  5. Funny! You didn't see anybody knitting? I guess knitting is out of fashion nowadays - I grew up in Punjab and one of my most abiding memories is of aunties - whether teachers, bank clerks, secretaries - busy knitting during work hours :)

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    Replies
    1. @ Manreet ~ unfortunately no. I think the mobile phones have replaced it. Thank you.

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  6. This is just one bank you have described, the others are equally bad and sometimes worse. Sarkari naukri hai bhaiyya!

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    Replies
    1. @zephyr~ But not all sarkari offices are like that. I've had some pleasant experiences too. Thank you.

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  7. A very pertinent post...much needed.....sad isn't it ?this sloth really gnaws at your insides...& how many man hours are wasted thus.

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    Replies
    1. @Induchhibber~ :) . They are hardly bothered about the customers and their problems. their indifference is what is annoying me. Thank you.

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  8. sigh! i know what you mean. but i am amazed at your innovative way of killing time! the way you described each counter/people/actions - lovely. though on that day your thoughts were anything but lovely :D
    it is very frustrating when we have to go through something like this. two precious hours for a 5 minute job wasted horribly because of inefficiency. it is nothing less than a work crime

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ Sujatha~ Well, I don't know if you can call it innovation if things happen out of a forlorn attempt to escape boredom.
      But you know what? after I got my work done I dropped a complaint addressed to the "Regional Head" and handed over a copy to the the "Assist Account Manager (the belly lady)".
      I waited till I got my work done because I wanted to get documentary evidence to file the complaint.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  9. :) Probably this is why most people now resort to internet banking and never step into a branch! Extremely interesting Post!
    Regards
    Priya
    http://aalayamkanden.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Priya~Thank you priya. I did consider that. But this was to a Univ and they only accepted DD from this particular bank.

      Delete
  10. Ahan!! Perfect name for the post I must say ;).
    I've experienced this :|. In the beginning, I used to love to go to Banks just to see how they work and all.
    Now, I think I know too much about it :| :P.
    I can't believe the way they handle everything.
    The job which can be finished in 2 hours, are being taken up for 4-5 hours :|.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Princess Poo~ I thought they should be held accountable for the time they ate up. So I spent 5 more extra minutes and dropped a complaint with the regional head. Thank you.

      Delete
  11. What else can one expect from a bunch of overpaid, underemployed, secure jobholders!

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    Replies
    1. @Rahul Bhatia~ I think I could make things a little uncomfortable for the bunch of overpaid, underemployed, secure jobholders by registering a complaint. Thank you Rahul.

      Delete
  12. hahahaha!!!

    the way you described i guess its none other than SBI .. :P

    reminds of the program office office !!!

    very well written

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Rahul. i don't think I'll share the name here. :)

      Delete
  13. Well said my friend... Some people in the Nationalized banks doesn't deserve their place there...

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    Replies
    1. @Manish~ thank you Maish. true, but I still don't understand why they retain those people.

      Delete
  14. While I can't help but laugh, this is also very sad.

    I've noticed since moving here that employees of any type are seriously undervalued and underpaid - even according to Indian standard wages. It's really sad because studies have proven time and time again that employees who receive some kind of recognition, even just a verbal appreciation from their boss or their customers work better and don't act like the employees at that bank. I've only met one employee who did her job well most of the time but even then she told me stories of how she would make customers wait because it was fun. (She has a well paid government position.)

    I see companies hiring the cheapest possible workers sometimes with no regard for whether or not they can actually do the job. One example would be the database administrator for one of the offices that does billing for Punjab Power. Notice the title in that last sentence because this man had to call my husband for a tutorial on how to power on a computer and pretty much calls daily for some type of job training. Of course, for 3000 INR a month the company never bothered to check his credentials or to see if he could even do the job.

    If it wasn't for stuff like that, you wouldn't likely have been stuck at the bank so long. I really feel sad for how employees are treated her in most cases and how little value companies place on the service they provide. It's even more saddening how often the citizens allow things like this to continue and that there's really not much they can do about it.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. @Kristy Kumari~ But these people who ruined my day are a bunch of well paid(overpaid)employees who are competent enough. May be the encouragement/appreciation may be lacking.
      LOL.. A database admin who does n't know how to power on a cpu? that's the height of issues. They better do something about it or shut down.
      I've had a senior member who had banner stuck in front of his office that read "time is precious for you and me" and deliberately made people wait in front of his office for hours together. And guess what, he told his colleague that only when people wait they realize how powerful his post is.
      Well, with the bank issue: I did file a complaint with the regional office with all the documentary evidence(the token and time DD was issued). Hope the person dealing with grievances is not a sloth.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  15. It is funny and sad at the same time..
    Many times I have ended up fighting with the sloths working in the
    banks and got them moving too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Farida~ yes, its painful to see it happen right in front of our eyes. I did fight back in my own silent way. Hope they take some action.
      thank you.

      Delete
  16. mmm., It happens! HOW RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE ARE!

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    Replies
    1. @Kanmani~ Yes they are. They just don't understand how taxing it is for the customers.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  17. Stop providing them with your business, simple ;)

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    Replies
    1. I did that years back. but this time, the univ specified I need to take a DD from that particular bank. I had no choice.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  18. Ha ha...This is my regular experience in my bank...
    A good ole nationalised bank...

    They have more to their credits...
    Once they lost the cheque I deposited..after a marathon hunt from my side it was found out that it was deposited in someone elses' account...

    "So many cheques were there for clearing that day ,madam....and the staff was absent too..."was the excuse I got!

    Loved the write up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Usha Srikumar~ A cheq deposit in a wrong account? oh God.. that's the worst scenario. I hope they didn't make you wait for days to get a refund.
      thank you.

      Delete
  19. Replies
    1. @Vikram Karve: I don't know. But I really wish it changed. Things would look really pleasing if this big curse had come to an end.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  20. hahaha...couldn't stop laughing...perfectly described scene of any SBI...
    that counter number 13 was seriously a LOL guy... :P

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    Replies
    1. @CYNOSURE~ :) thank you. Glad you like it. oh yes, the counter-13, he did keep me entertained for some time.

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  21. Loved it Leo! I am sure that you had spent the entire day waiting for your turn...

    Read about my experience here: http://nishdil.blogspot.in/2011/11/misadventures-part-2.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Nisha~ Almost.. I will surely read them..
      thank you..

      Delete
  22. Amazing Experience...PSU banks are facing this problem since their establishment..what might be the possible way to solve the problem

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    Replies
    1. @sedated~ yes, they are. I don't know what can be done. But my part I've played well- I droped a mail to the regional head.
      Thank you.

      Delete
  23. haha!!! very funny experience. I also faced same kind of experiences with SBI. Atleast they provides ATM, Net banking so we not need everytime to reach their branches to experience this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Surender Markam~ True. Things would have been tougher if those things didn't exist. imagine sitting with your banker every fortnight to transact. I cant even think of such a situation. Hats off to the people who did that in the past.
      Thank you.

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the invite Bloggiri team. Best wishes.

      Delete
  25. I just wish u could have taken pictures of shot a video....

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  26. Totally completely absolutely agree with you. i have similar experience at Sloth Bank of India many a times. Not to mention their rudeness and grumpiness. They claim to have atms around the nation, but what use if depositing money takes such long time.

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  27. Sounds like ICICI, isnt it?

    They have this token system and sometimes be a long drawn process.

    Liked reading your post... next time I am waiting in a bank, I shall look around too...

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  28. whenever i go to sbi, one whole day is just gone! like that!

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  29. lolz.. next time i'll try to observe the counters and see if anything interesting comes up like yours. waiting in a bank is deadly boring!

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  30. Hilarious ! Good one and something all of us relate to in one long waiting line or the other..

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  31. Hahahaha ...hilarious...I dare not say the bank's name.It is an unfortunate reality about the national banks.Worse is that I have seen them misbehaving with elderly (showing off how outdated they are in terms of on line banking and ATM stuff).
    I know this is no "grievances" section ,but they even misplaced a 500er of mine...I ave them 90 - 500's and they said there were only 89...I mean heights of ...whatever..dunno whose kitty that money fell in to

    ReplyDelete