Unexpressed Emotions - A friend's love story.

Today, I accompanied an old friend to the beach. He is “meeting a special person” (that is the exact phrase he used) after a long gap of 10 years. She studied junior to him at pre-college, and after she got transferred, this is their first meeting.

My friend resides a bit far, around 4 hours drive from this town. Today morning he drove all the way to attend an event of 2 long sessions spanning 5 hours each. He chose this place because he knew she lived here and wanted a reason to come here. Though meeting her was itself a reason with much greater validity, he did not want it to appear so.

When he asked me to accompany him, I was not sure if I should really do it. But since this is one among the very few things he asked me, I didn’t want to deny it. So I came along to witness the reunion.

Exactly at 4.50 we reached here and we have been waiting for the past 20 minute or so. When I look at his face, I can clearly make out how harsh his day was. He did not seem to possess a third of the energy that he usually exudes. Ever since I know him, he has an excellent quality to contagiously sprout out quantum of energy to the people around him. Today, he is all drained out and it feels like being here with somebody else. Offering to meet her on a tight packed day like this itself reveals how damn important she is in his life.

From the flashback he narrated on our way, there were times when he did wait like this years ago just to see her. He said it was almost a routine and he lost count on hours spent waiting. It was on the second month of their meeting when he waited for her at the school gate to show her his arm on which he got her name scribbled with lasting tattoo. Unfortunately she did not turn up on time to see it and was caught by his teacher. He had to get that erased with the help of his chemistry tutor before the news reached the principal.

He seemed to be overjoyed when he explained how irresolute was their propinquity. Every tea breaks, he would stand at a particular place to meet her, making it so natural, for others won't get a clue. And as and when she moved around him in full glory, they would exchange quick furtive glances. When he said that I could see his tired eyes glitter with excitement.

Though his heart was craving, nothing was ever spoken about it between them. Those days, he neither had the courage to tell her all that he felt nor did he express any emotions completely. He always thought he would get a better opportunity to do it, wanting more time for his thoughts to mature. Only little did he knew that she would move out of sight soon.

One dreadful day, she was withdrawn from the institute and was being shifted to a farther land. This happened all of a sudden and it was too late when the news reached him. That instant he rushed to meet her, but she had already stepped out of the campus with her mother.

He was lucky enough to secretly escort follow her and her mother to the bus bay. After she got into the bus, he stood behind a car stealing the last few peeks before his love story ended. As the bus started to move, he felt left alone. His heart started to feel heavier with all the unexpressed emotions he had in stock for a life time.

He stood there until he felt it impossible to hold back his tears.The moment he felt a drop trickle down his cheek, he turned back. Like an blind mad man, he ran through the crowd and across the road until he reached spot where he usually met her. The rest of his school days, he would come down and wait there during the breaks reminiscing and waiting for his amateur love story.

With lots of things untold and emotions unexpressed a long time ago, he is meeting her again. But today, he feels sad, for he has nothing to tell her and nothing to express. He believes that it would make no sense if he spoke out all that an 18 year old had to say at the age of 28.

Though he treasures every single thing in that relationship, he has decided to let go. He said; “From tomorrow, she is going to be lost in the fast flowing river of this busy life. But today, evening is for her, just to untangle any tight knots if at all had ever existed. A non traumatizing conclusion for both.”

I did not ask him why, for I now know what she is to him. If he chose not to tell her, he will definitely have a valid reason. My only prayer for now is “God, give my friend the energy to elude his emotions when they meet."

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