A Search For Sperm.

This is something that amused me a few minutes back when I Googled the word -SPERM-. Now, if you are the one like me who stretches imagination to every possible extent, might have already thought I had a naughty ;-) agenda. But no, this is nothing of that sort, and for those of you who thought you are about to read an adults only post, I'm sorry to disappoint.

Without “beating around the bush", let me come to the point straight. Ever heard of a sperm bike before? I didn't, until my image search for use in a lecture slide on infertility brought me to this picture on the left.

Now wait, you need not imagine much on the possibility of an ovum car waiting at the other end to receive the sperm bike. Things are  simpler. They only transport it from your "place" to "some other place" for further use or storage.


If you "arose" in a place like Denmark or Seattle, your sperm would have had this unique opportunity to enjoy great worldly comfort and pleasures. You only have to make a call and notify your willingness to donate it. Once you are "equipped, after a call", a sperm bike will be at your door to collect your load. 

Isn't that a true luxury like getting your meat meal delivered at home by just dialing the Mc Donalds (order your 'meal' and get an assured 'deal'!). I'm happy they didn't follow the fire force protocol. If that was the case, every time there is "fire " we might have someone knocking on the door.

While the biker "rides back", your V.I.P will be swimming in the comfort of the nitrogen based cooling compartment of the bike (the head) getting prepared for the do or die competition just ahead.  Mean while the entire town will be glaring at the fast moving as though just emerged out of "a tunnel" sperm bike. In simple words: the sperm gets a royal ride like a national player on his way to the word cup. Isn't that the best you can offer to your fellow, which in most cases is wasted in a rubber bag and then flushed.

I know you are curious about "the process involved in the middle", after they arrive and before they leave. So am I. Nowhere do they mention about the “alternate” method of collection. Perhaps they have better a way for it too, depending on the “skill” of the biker (do we have an option to chose?).

But where on earth is the sperm a scarcity for much hard-work to go into "aggressive collection" and banking on a large scale? If it was for ovum, you could at least say there is only 400 of them in the entire life span of a lady. In a man's case it's in millions per climax, competing head on for the one soul-mate arriving once a month. 

Things are not that simple for the hero as it "appears". To qualify fit and be a sought after star, it needs a perfect owner. If it seems to be a product of a man with clean medical history, impressive personality trait, interests, looks (in his childhood) et al., he makes it to the “ring” for the finals. If not, back to square one, into the drain. The only difference: here someone else pushes the flush button.

Well as of now, I'm only concerned about when this thing is going to ply on our roads? Are we going to have a sperm donation campaign as well? I'm eagerly waiting with my "phone receiver" in  hand. I can not stand a scam on this one like we had with organ donation!

NB: If you can find a deeper meaning/different interpretation for those in "inverted commas", it is pure coincidental and your imagination. I hope that clears it all. :)

image courtesy: google ,  bikeradar gallery, 

European Sperm  Bank